With most bosses, you have a good idea of what they want, whether or not you agree with them, believe in their methods or feel their deadlines are even remotely reasonable. You at least know, and hopefully there’s respectful two-way communication.
But what if you have a new boss – either because you’ve taken a new job or because of a management change in your company, and he or she is just not communicating?
In one job change I made, the boss with whom I interviewed was promoted and took off on a vacation out of the country. When I arrived for my first day of work, I found I reported to someone else. He was snippy when he even spoke to me, and most of the time he just wouldn’t say ANYTHING to me. I reeled from disbelief to panic to disgust, but in the end I really wanted the job, so I struggled to make the best of it in the land of hostility and non-communication. It soon became clear that the new boss had wanted a friend for the position. Hard to win that one.
This boss “forgot” to tell me of 8 AM weekly staff meetings, and I arrived as they were wrapping up – once, only. I asked co-workers to let me know about future meetings and agendas, and just arrived, fully prepared. My office was freezing and it seemingly couldn’t be regulated. I wore my coat. I made a lot of friends getting assistance and information from other people, did well, and eventually was able to move to another division of the company. Would I handle the situation the same way now? No, but that was Wall Street many years ago, I was really young and wanted the job, and I didn’t want to look like a whiner.
But you never forget – and when I saw Matt Villano’s article in the New York Times, Warming up a Chilly Boss, that stomach-dropping feeling came back to me. The article gives some really good pointers by a group of workplace consultants and expert authors, for people who aren’t connecting with their bosses. Their recommendations include setting expectations, and not assuming that you’ll have a certain kind of relationship or camaraderie that you’d like. (The relationship will be the one they want, and maybe they don’t value friendliness, are outrageously busy, or have personal problems.) The article also offers some “things to watch out for” alerts (such as curt greetings, messages that aren’t returned, lack of eye contact), and advice on delicately approaching the boss if the big chill goes on and on – always couching the issue in terms of getting the work done, or moving the company forward, not the personalities.
Sounds easy, but anyone who’s been there knows it’s not. How have you successfully thawed a frosty, uncommunicative boss?
I am facing this situation at the moment and never belived it could get out of hand so quickly. I have worked for the same Company for 6 years. Last year things started to go sour and now it has been low blows and even illegal activity on the part of my Boss to get rid of me. You have to wonder why it has to be like this, the disappointment coupled with the harassement through me into a depression, I can't seem to pull out of, at 50 I am really worried about having to look for a new job and start all over again at another company.
Posted by: joseph | October 30, 2006 4:03 PM | Permalink to Comment